


Love you, someday

by cloutwizard



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, College AU, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, Keith is emo, M/M, Pining, lance and keith are freshmen, probably gonna be smut, slowburn, they hate each other at first, will add more tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-07-08 18:08:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15935591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloutwizard/pseuds/cloutwizard
Summary: Keith was hovering directly over Lance in a second, palms on either side of his head, fingers turning numb from pressing into the icy sidewalk. The tense moment was interrupted when Lance’s hot breath crystallized in front of Keith’s flustered face.The next moment, Keith threw another sucker punch directly towards Lance’s jaw. This time, an awful cracking noise resonated through the air as Lance let out a bloodcurdling scream.aka your cliché college AU where Lance and Keith’s feelings for each other swing back and forth like a pendulum.





	1. Chapter 1

-Thursday, 11:08 pm-  
Lance’s hair was splayed wildly over the freezing concrete. The fall left him disoriented; the blow was only softened by the fur lining of his Garrison jacket. Autumn leaves scattered the ground where he lay motionless.  


Uncanny serenity had flashed through Lance’s mind the moment his head hit the ground. Lance looked up to see the ethereal night sky—and for that split second, all his problems dispersed like the scattered constellations above.  


Lance came back to reality as he winced from the sharp pain that resonated through the depths of his skull.  


Night had fallen, and so had the temperature, and a dusting of early winter snow had settled over the streets of Garrison University. The sidewalk was illuminated in a yellow hue—courtesy of the outdated streetlights above—and created dramatically eerie shadows that drenched everything to the bone. Lance’s coffee had splattered on the sidewalk next to his head, and the dark liquid closely resembled blood.  


Keith was hovering directly over Lance in a second, palms on either side of his head, fingers turning numb from pressing into the icy sidewalk. The tense moment was interrupted as Lance’s hot breath crystallized in front of Keith’s flustered face.  


The next moment, Keith threw another sucker punch directly towards Lance’s jaw. This time, an awful cracking noise resonated through the air as Lance let out a bloodcurdling scream.

 

Friday, 1:16 am  


He hated Keith.  


From the depths of his heart, he despised Keith like he despised the throbbing pain that emanated through the left side of his face.

But more importantly, how in the world was Lance supposed to face his mother right now? 

Soon enough, she’ll storm through the hospital doors, disheveled and panicking, and find out that her son fractured his goddamn jaw in a fistfight—in the middle of the night, no less. At least the ambulance was covered by insurance or else Lance would seriously be dead.  


Lance scanned the sterile white walls and fluorescent ceiling lights, and felt extremely out of place. He imagined the look on his mother’s face when the hospital called their house; it must have been a sight to behold. She probably woke up the entire family out of sheer radiating anger as the workers informed them about Lance’s hospitalization… Lance shivered at the thought. He could practically feel his mother’s wrath already, like some instinctual telekinesis.  
At least his father was away on a business trip. Lance couldn’t wait for his lecture.  


Lance hated feeling like a burden, and he absolutely hated disappointing anybody, especially his parents. He felt like a child who wound up in a fight on the playground and needed to be picked up by his mom.  


Okay, Lance might have stretched the situation a bit—it wasn’t really a fistfight; Keith had just attacked him out of nowhere outside the Garrison’s convenience store. Hell, Lance’s ‘broken jaw’ was just a miniscule fracture, paired with gnarly bruises, but Lance had passed out cold a few minutes after the strike Keith gave him. Apparently, Lance didn’t have a very high pain tolerance.  


Lance was sitting in the lobby after taking some Advil and holding an icepack to his swollen jaw (he thought for sure that his face was cracked in half and he’d need to get reconstructive surgery or something) but at least Keith had the decency to call an ambulance after Lance had fainted. Well, that’s what Lance liked to think, because the thought of Keith leaving him alone unconscious on the freezing sidewalk hurt just a little more than the painful throbbing in his jaw.  


Okay, maybe Lance didn’t hate Keith that much. Forgive and forget. Lance admitted they’d been ‘sworn enemies’ since high school, and he admitted that the reason why Keith beat him up a few hours ago was because Lance poured paper clips into his coffee when Keith wasn’t looking (Lance blames Pidge for the idea) but it’s all in good fun, right?

-K-  
Lance had passed out on the street like a baby. He didn’t even hit Lance that hard. He'd been in much worse fights with his classmates, so he mayhaps had slightly overestimated the situation. Keith (kind of) felt bad for leaving him alone on the street unconscious, but it took everything in him to keep from pummeling Lance’s face further into the cement as waves of anger and frustration flooded his rational thinking. Of course Keith was still mad at Lance for that stunt he pulled earlier. He literally almost died in the middle of Biology after swallowing about five paperclips, and Lance couldn’t have found it funnier.  


Keith had confronted Lance about it after both of them left the building after their final evening class. Keith had managed to reign in his temper during the day for the most part. Ironically, they shared most of their first semester classes—Keith was certain that it was karma resurfacing from high school. Lance had pulled pranks like this before, and Keith should be used to it by now, but publicly ridiculing him while he quietly suffocated via lodged paperclip was not the way Keith wanted to go. Also, his grades were getting embarrassingly low and this situation was not helping. They’ve got to place boundaries somewhere. So, when Lance started giggling like a child, Keith had completely lost it. Good thing a dude was walking down the street—he would've probably noticed if Lance was lying unconscious on the ground and have the decency to help him. Not that Keith cared or anything.

Friday, 10:25 am  


Lance was simply going to forget that last night even happened. Long story short, he had to awkwardly explain to his fuming Madre in the middle of the hospital lobby that she couldn’t ground him anymore, and then endure the long drive back to his and Hunk's dorm while she shouted Spanish obscenities at him (“Te voy a romper la mandíbula otra vez!”). To top it off, he made his roommate Hunk cry when he showed up at three in the morning covered in cuts and bruises.  


He was tired, in pain, and bummed out, and his doctor told him to stay home for the day, which kind of sucked. It took everything in him to keep Hunk from skipping classes too because he wanted to keep Lance company. He just didn’t want to feel like more of a burden than he already did. 

Lance eyed the large stack of homework sitting on the carpet by his bed—he knew his History of Aeronautics paper was due this afternoon, but his professor would hopefully understand that Lance was dying, and there was a limit to how much health one could sacrifice for learning.

Lance painfully rolled out of bed, hissing at the bruises, and trudged to the bathroom. He didn’t even have the energy to do his evening skin care routine last night, and he was genuinely scared to look at his own face.  


Lance took a deep breath and pried his eyes from the ground and into the mirror. His whole demeanor instantly relaxed, and he took a heavy sigh of relief. There was surprisingly little swelling, but the whole side of Lance’s jaw was rich with bruises—blues, purples, and greens like watercolours on his tanned skin—although nothing that couldn’t be concealed with a little makeup. Handsome as always, Lance thought as he tried to smile albeit the sharp pain shooting up his face. But all jokes aside, Lance was already planning ways to maliciously get back at Keith.  


Lance let his mind overanalyze yesterday’s events as he showered. The hot water felt like a club beating his sore back. 

Lance valiantly attempted to push down the thought that maybe this situation was a little more serious than how he was taking it. He wasn't really mad at Keith; Lance had been beaten up by classmates in high school plenty of times. However, Lance had thought Keith was still his buddy albeit their 'rivalry' (Lance was getting sick of that anyways) but this changed everything. As Lance thought about it, his heart sunk as he recalled how Keith literally never talked to him. Ever. He literally didn’t remember a single rational conversation that has ever happened between them.  


Still, Keith had always felt like somewhat of a childhood friend to him. Keith was the only kid from high school who took the exact same college classes as Lance, and amidst rows and rows of strangers, it made sense to sit beside him. Keith never questioned nor opposed it. He didn't really acknowledge Lance's existence, really. But to Lance, he felt like a familiar anchor that eased Lance's anxious freshman mind.  


Lance guessed they weren't as close as he thought after all. Maybe Keith didn't care about the whole 'rivalry' thing. Maybe he didn't even care that Lance was trying to befriend him. And dear lord, Keith had tried to hold a sensible conversation (probably about the prank) after class yesterday, but Lance’s idiot ass didn’t take him seriously at all.  


Keith probably hated Lance, and not in a ‘buddies’ way. He’d truthfully hated Lance since the day he met him. Keith probably looked at Lance like some grime stuck to the bottom of his shoe that claimed to be his equal.  


They weren’t ‘rivals’ anymore. This wasn’t high school. And as Lance just concluded, they weren’t even on mutual terms.  


And to think that Lance had been constantly pestering him like they were childhood friends all this time.  


Lance felt shame choking his ribs and closing his throat. He hated feeling this way. He hated feeling ashamed, or guilty, or problematic. Lance momentarily forgot about the pain emanating from his own cuts and bruises.  


Lance turned off his scalding shower. Somehow, he felt infinitely worse than before. 

He must sincerely apologize to Keith (if he had the guts), no strings attached, and then never speak to him again. It was the only way to sidestep this embarrassment.

===

Keith and Lance were only 14 when they first met. They both attended the same high school, which was one of many preliminary schools towards Garrison University. The Garrison school was famous for its enriched astronomy and cosmology courses—in fact, Both Keith and Lance were in their first year of University, majoring in Astrophysics.  


High school had caused a major rift in their initial association. In the beginning, Lance liked to believe that he was the absolute best student amongst his peer group—until he met Keith, that is.  


Keith was a perfectionist—he always did the best on tests and assignments, and Lance was left wallowing in his own incompetence. Keith was undoubtedly professor Shirogane’s favorite, and however quiet and reserved Keith appeared to be, he wasn’t afraid of showing off his skills in front of Lance either.  


Setting aside Keith and Lance’s difference in ability, the intense competition enforced by teachers left little room for social growth and imposed an increasing separation between the pair.  


It seemed like Lance and Keith simply belonged to different leagues.  


Lance was never jealous of Keith. It was true that he would’ve given anything to become as cool and popular as Keith ostensibly was, but even if he didn’t have the natural ability that Keith was blessed with, he still worked ten times harder, and the work was finally paying off.

Friday 5:18 pm  
Keith didn’t know what happened during the transition into Garrison University, but suddenly he was failing half of his classes and his reputation was crumbling between his fingers. Maybe it was just a classic case of freshmanitis, or maybe he was becoming one of those smart kid burnouts. He kind of hated himself either way.  


He thought about Lance—who on the other hand, had never been better. He was finally getting straight A’s, his teachers loved him, and he actually got invited to parties every Saturday—things he probably only dreamed about in high school. Plus, he got to bother Keith every day in class. What an existence.  


Keith trudged back to his dorm with his minimal paperwork in one hand and a black coffee in the other. He lived in his shabby dorm alone. He had a roommate at one point—the guy lived there for a whole three weeks at the beginning of the semester.  


Keith had wondered why the dude moved out so quickly, but he had a feeling it was partially his own fault—Keith ignored him most of the time, plus he couldn’t clean for shit.  


Keith enjoyed living alone, he had for most of his life. He could take care of himself just fine. It meant he got to do what he wanted without anyone there to instruct or criticize him. He didn’t mind paying the extra bills, even for his tiny one-bedroom shack in the worst apartment the Garrison had to offer.  


He sighed heavily as he plopped his notes down on the kitchen table. He knew he was not gonna do his homework. It wasn't like he was lazy—he simply had nothing to prove, to the school or to his peers. Keith was smart enough to wing all the coursework, and he’ll most likely finish with passing grades, but he saw utterly no point in wasting time mesmerizing his professors or impressing his classmates. Keith knew he had the potential to be the best goddamn student the Garrison had ever seen, but what was the point? It’s not like he’d be happy in that position.  


Keith’s primary goal was to graduate and find his place in the world. Nothing else mattered.

He wondered why Lance didn’t attend any classes today. He actually had to listen to the lectures without Lance’s extremely distracting yet hilarious side commentary, and honestly, he found out that the curriculum was kind of boring. Lance never skipped classes (unlike himself) and having the desk to his right be empty felt kind of unnatural. It was strange he’d skip class, he was such a perfectionist.  


Keith didn’t hurt him that bad, did he? Fuck, Lance did look pretty beat up, though. Keith was gonna apologise to him today, since it was Keith’s own fault he couldn’t control his anger over Lance’s insignificant prank.  


Keith wasn’t gonna lie, it was not the first time he’d gotten so angry over something so negligible, and he felt kind of ashamed. Was Lance purposely avoiding him because he was scared that Keith would still be angry?  


Damn, Lance probably despised him now. There goes Keith’s only friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y are they such drama kweens  
> (also wow thanks for reading)

Keith had never invested his time in many interests or hobbies. He spent his spare time at the campus gym. He’d always built barriers between him and his surrounding environment, and therefore he hadn’t been able to form many relationships in his life. He’d experienced his fair share of codependent associations.  
This also meant that when Keith accepted someone as a friend, he took that very seriously. 

Keith also hated it when people avoided him. His older brother, Shiro, cut contact with him for the first week of University, hoping that Keith would come out of his shell and start talking to his classmates. Keith became even more of a recluse, sometimes refusing to leave his bed.  
That's how much Keith was emotionally dependent on his brother. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t have the ability to socialise. He just preferred meaningful relationships over many fake ones. That’s just the kind of person he was. Keith will never admit that he might have a slight attachment problem. 

…Imagine how Keith felt when Lance, the only person who used to talk to him like a friend, now avoided him like an enemy. 

 

Monday, 8:06 am

Lance expertly applied concealer to the bruises scattering his jaw. His and Hunk’s bathroom was always strewn with dozens of beauty products—conditioners and face masks that mostly belonged to Lance—and smelled like a Lush factory. 

Hunk was Lance’s randomly assigned roommate, as neither of them had known anybody well enough to pair up with before college started. They had easily clicked and became best friends.

Their dorm, a good ten minute walk from the university, was a bit more on the pricey end, but the huge kitchen and bathroom totally made it worth every penny. Lance had also put some effort into decorating, and now their dorm resembled a minimalistic interior design magazine. 

With Halloween around the corner, Lance had begun his ritual of festooning fake spiderwebs around the walls. Hunk lowkey hated the mishmash of styles but he’ll stick through this phase of Lance’s, if it meant pumpkin spice lattes and scary movie nights every weekend.

 

Hunk was currently making breakfast in the kitchen while Lance was meticulously doing his makeup for school.

Lance had decided he was going to hide the reason behind Friday’s absence. In the meantime, he searched his mind for a plausible excuse to tell anyone who asked. 

“HUNK!” He yelled from the bathroom. If anyone’s gonna help him, it’s got to be Hunk. Lance had already voiced the entire situation to him in expressive detail. The dude was like Lance’s private counsellor or something. 

“What is it, Lance?”

“Get in here and tell me if you can see the bruises or not.”  
Lance heard the floorboards squeak as Hunk made his way to the bathroom. He really needed to get those fixed.

Lance applied some finishing touches with his concealer as Hunk took a second to analyze Lance’s face for any remaining purple. Hunk flashed a smile. “You’re good, bro. Just don’t miss that giant bruise at the back of your neck.” 

Oh dear lord. Lance froze and turned around in the mirror. Sure enough, the nape of his neck was adorned with purples and greens from when he suffered from that nasty fall. 

Lance felt a surging moment of panic. His neck ached, but he didn’t expect the bruises to look this prominent. It was kind of freaky, maybe his brain had turned to mush and was trickling down the back of his neck or something.  
More importantly, how in the hell was he supposed to cover that up?

Hunk noticed Lance’s bewildered expression and smiled gently. “Just wear a scarf all day. You can pretend you have a cold or something, which could be the reason why you missed last Friday.” 

“Hunk, my man, you are a GENIUS!” Lance laughed and threw his arms around his friend. “This is why I trust you with my life.”

===

Lance and Hunk usually walked to class together in the morning, sometimes stopping by the corner store for some cheap coffee.

Hunk was taking classes related to engineering and mechanics, but his dream was to someday utilize his pro cooking skills to open his own bistro downtown. Lance supported him immensely, and regularly joked about becoming a sexy waitress if his Hollywood career didn’t take off before then. 

 

This morning was chilly, so Lance inevitably dragged Hunk into the store for some 99-cent coffee. 

The plaster on the side of the store building was chipped and worn. Obscure graffiti littered the walls, and autumn leaves scattered the frosty pavement. The building was adorned with a neon sign that read “GARRISON CONVENIENCE” in retro-esque cursive.  
Lance was bitterly reminded of the night Keith tackled him to the ground.

The glass door screeched as it was opened, masking the sound of the bell announcing Lance and Hunk’s arrival.  
“Hey losers,” Pidge greeted them from the cash register nonchalantly. She looked like she was functioning on thirty minutes of sleep, which was expected for a 16-year-old taking college classes in computer engineering while working at a shitty part-time job. 

Hunk waved at her. “Hi Pidge. Listen, I need help reprogramming this syste..” Lance blocked out Hunk and Pidge’s incoherent babbling as he walked over to the coffee station, ready to assemble the perfect latte. Discussing technology was like speaking in a foreign language to Lance. 

Allura entered from the back employee’s room carrying a box of disposable coffee cups. Her hair was in a bun and she was wearing casual work clothes, but she looked put together nonetheless. “G’morning, Lance.”

“H-hey Allura how are you nice weather we’re havin—” Lance stumbled over his words. He was usually super confident talking to people, but Allura’s terrifyingly beautiful stature intimidated him to no end. 

Allura managed the convenience store, but she was simultaneously working towards a degree at the Garrison, like Pidge. Talk about power woman.

Allura smiled kindly at Lance. “I’m fine, thanks for asking,” she began placing the stack of coffee cups in the designated trays. “How are you feeling? You look pretty bundled up.”

Lance subconsciously tugged his thick scarf. 

…Oh right, he was supposed to act sick. 

“Uhhh yeah I’ve been feeling under the weather lately…” Lance mumbled as he reached for a cup. 

“I can imagine. midterms aren’t that far away, after all,” Allura gathered the remaining packaging. “Well, I gotta get back to work. Nice talking to you, Lance. See you later.” Allura smiled at him one last time, and headed back to the storage room. 

Oh shit, Lance completely forgot about midterms.  
Great, more stress to add on to his schedule, Lance depressingly thought as he stirred some vanilla into his frothy, sugary drink. 

 

Monday, 9:23 am

Lance trudged to class after parting ways with Hunk, sipping on his warm latte and conversing with friends he ran into. His head was still thrumming with a light ache, and he wanted nothing more than to be at home, tucked under his covers. Alas, Lance couldn’t bear to skip another day of school. He was too perfect a student. He didn’t want to disappoint his professors. 

So, when Lance entered his classroom at 9:29 am, the realisation slapped him across his dumb face.

He sat right next to Keith—the one person he wanted to avoid at all costs.

Lance swallowed thickly and hid behind his best poker face.

 

-K-

“Lance, I—"  
Oh boy. Oh boy oh boy oh—

Keith had panicked a little when he spotted Lance entering the classroom. He’d previously thought about it a lot, and with advice from Shiro, he’d decided that it would be best to apologise to Lance straight up. 

Lance had sat right in his usual spot next to Keith, but had turned away to talk to a friend, cutting him off mid-apology. 

Keith was silently freaking out. He hadn’t trained for this. 

 

Needless to say, the class went by in awkward silence between the pair. The air was thick with rigid suspension. Keith couldn’t even focus on his work when he tried, and that was saying something. 

 

Monday, 10:30 pm

Last class was finally over, which concluded Keith’s Longest Day Ever. He was mentally worn out after thinking of ways to approach Lance to apologise, and he was silently driving himself to hysterics as he packed up his papers in his backpack. Keith sat beside Lance for every. single. class. Why hasn't Keith summoned the courage to apologize yet? Keith knew he must apologise before Lance leaves, or else the guilt was gonna make him lose his marbles.

Keith scrambled to shove the rest of his papers in his bag when he saw Lance heading out the classroom door.

The exit to the main street was right outside their classroom. Keith elbowed a few people as he pushed past the glass doors, finally relieved when a gust of cold night air engulfed him. He turned sharply to the left, where he spotted Lance walking briskly to the dorm apartments and jogged to catch up. Keith experienced a moment of Deja-vu. 

 

“Lance, I—”

Lance turned around quickly, eyes wide, caught like a deer in headlights. 

Lance was wearing a thick scarf and had prominent bags underneath his eyes. His skin seemed grey, and the streetlights above made his features look even more sullen. Dread settled in Keith’s stomach. Was Lance… okay? 

“Lance, I wanted to ap—” 

Lance choked out a sniffle, and for the second time that day he turned in the opposite direction, ignoring Keith entirely. 

What the hell? Again? Keith promised he wouldn’t lose his temper with Lance, but boy was he testing it. 

Without a second to spare, Keith reached out and grabbed Lance’s shoulder, stopping him in his tracks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zoo wee mama :/  
> (Also I think they’re gonna have evening classes Mondays and Wednesdays but we’ll see))


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was high key challenging to write,, just like, discerning feelings and shit?? Wild. Anyways enjoy

The frosty streets at night carried a serene atmosphere, a momentous contrast from the hectic days at the Garrison. Everything fell silent in the evening, and the hushed breeze, unobstructed by the bustling noises of the daytime, felt almost overwhelming. The sidewalks were brought to life by stiff, frozen snow that gleamed under the lamplights as the moon cast its chilling energy, coaxing everything to sleep. The only thing that disturbed the silence was the crunching of leaves under shuffling feet, and the indescribable tension in the air. 

Keith realized his mistake shortly after he made it. 

Lance had burst into tears, thick droplets pouring down his cheeks, smudging his concealer. 

“What the FUCK, man,” Lance swiped Keith’s hand away aggressively. “What the fuck are YOU apologizing for?!” His voice cracked, eyes ablaze, tears dried by the cold night breeze.

Keith stood, shocked, and looked at Lance with a mixture of irritation and grief. 

Lance knew he needed to calm down and stay rational. His thoughts were a jumbled mess, and his headache was not helping. Any coherent sentences were left half-formed in his mind. He just needed to stop shouting and count to ten, that’s what Hunk would tell him. 

Lance didn’t understand at all, in this godforsaken world, why Keith was the one apologizing in this situation. 

Lance admitted that he was slow sometimes, but he held good judgement, if he said so himself. Lance was also sure, according to his whimsical deduction, that Keith saw Lance as a nuisance. He was never a friend. Not previously, not ever. 

But right now, as Lance combusted from pent-up anxiety while tears ran down the crevices of his sullen cheeks, he couldn’t help but stare up into Keith’s shadowed eyes, and search for some coherent answer lost in those depths. 

He longed to go home. He needed rest.  
He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. 

“Lance, why the fuck are you cryi—what do you mean, why am I apolog—what happened to your FACE?!” 

Lance looked down at his sleeve, which was covered in concealer. Oops. 

Lance stiffened up like a rock as Keith immediately bent down to inspect Lance’s bruised skin. Lance didn’t even notice that he collapsed amidst the ordeal. Suddenly it was all too much, all over again, but his knees would give out if he tried to stand up and run away. 

The area, clear of dawdling students, was illuminated by the neon glare of the Garrison convenience across the road. The scene, Lance thought, was reminiscent of what had happened between them last week: Lance was on the ground, frozen stiff from terror and foreboding. But instead of Keith racking him into the sidewalk, he was treating Lance like an injured friend, and he held a worried gaze that drenched Lance with confusion. 

\---

Keith was as lost as the directionless wind that tousled his hair. He wasn’t great at following situations, and neither did he really know what he’d expected. Keith had simply acted on a gut feeling.

However, that gut feeling turned into a gut-wrenching ache as his mind slowly connected the dots.

His right hand, caressing bruised skin, immediately snaked behind Lance’s back and squeezed him into a tight hug. “Jesus fucking christ, dude.”

Guilt, like fire, had engulfed Keith’s insides and charred his guts. “You probably hate me, but jeez, why didn’t you say anything? I didn't realize I hurt you this bad. I just want to apologize.” 

Lance was still crying. “I thought you hated me. I was just trying to be a good person!” 

Keith fell silent at that. He thought back to how Lance always tried to talk to him, how it was redolent of his peers from high school who Keith had always pushed away. Keith believed there was always something better the world had to offer, some place he could reach without the impediment of mediocre relationships, some opportunity he would miss if he settled for what was in front of him. 

But what kind of goddamned opportunity was he missing, with Lance sobbing in his arms, all because of Keith's stupidity and negligence?

He thought about Shiro; how many years he needed to open to him because of his stupid impeding fear, and how much Shiro had helped Keith grow as a person when he finally did. 

He didn’t want this kind of one-sided relationship with Lance. He didn’t want to follow the idiotic voice at the back of his mind, telling him to stay back, to never open his emotions up to anybody because they’d stab him in the back when he wasn’t paying attention. He couldn’t believe Lance for dealing with his bullshit for so long.

Then he scooped Lance up in his arms and started towards the dorms.

Lance squeaked, squirmed and jabbed his bony elbows into Keith’s sides.

“Okay, first of all, calm the fuck down dude. Second, you’re obviously sick as fuck, and you look like you’re on the brink of collapse. This is the least of my apologies.”

Lance’s brain seemed to short-circuit for a couple of seconds. Why wasn’t Keith taking him seriously? Why was he suddenly acting friendly, like nothing had happened?

Lance suddenly felt bile crawl up his esophagus. He actually did feel sick now, and he probably looked like it too. 

He’d always felt the need to feel accepted by everyone. He tried his best to be a nice and caring person, but when someone hated him for no reason, he didn’t know what to do or how to act. Now that Keith suddenly pulled a 180 on his ass, Lance couldn’t even distinguish between his own emotions. He sighed a shivering breath and shimmied out of Keith’s arms.

“It’s okay, I can walk.” Lance picked up his backpack.

“Oh.” They both continued walking to the dorms, Keith rubbing his neck self-consciously. 

“Keith, pardon my French, but what the fuck?” 

Keith looked to the ground, partially in embarrassment and partially because he couldn’t bear to see Lance’s beat-up face again. He was seriously gonna do some self-deprecating sad boy hours later. 

“Keith, you know I’m not actually mad at you. I know I was being annoying as hell, and I know that I probably deserved getting punched in the face—”

“No, Lance, please. It’s my fault. I couldn’t control my temper. You didn’t deserve this, and I understand if you don’t want to be friends anymore—”

Lance spun aggressively and stopped Keith in his tracks. 

“Bitch I swear to god, I thought you hated me.”

“Lance I—why would I ever hate you? You’ve been there since day one, and frankly, you’re my only friend here at the Garrison.”

Lance could not believe his ears. He glanced at Keith to make sure he wasn’t bullshitting, but Keith’s expression remained as solemn as ever.

Lance smiled gently, almost cautiously, but the gleam in his eyes rivalled the blinding moon. 

Sniffling back a tear and a grin, Lance still held many unanswered questions. They walked in silence; it wasn't uncomfortable, rather reflective. 

“Hey, Keith?”

“Yeah?”

“Between you and me, this never happened.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sad Keith hours  
> (this fic is like, cathartic to me I swear)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is e m o

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been so busy these last couple of weeks;-; I hate high school  
> Also I did a shit ton of editing on the last chapters

The sky outside Keith’s bedroom window was pitch-black, and Keith revelled at the moon’s glow pouring into his room. Keith stared up at his bedroom ceiling; the yellowing plaster was adorned with glow-in-the-dark stars that Keith carefully arranged in the shapes of constellations. When Keith moved in, he had spent hours meticulously sticking the stars to his ceiling to mirror the diagrams in his Astrophysics textbook. He’d lie awake in his dorm for hours, staring into the makeshift universe and wondering where his purpose lay within the grand expanse. But most importantly, Keith would worry about the future. 

Keith didn’t know what he wanted to do after he graduated from the Garrison; he didn’t have a clue. And frankly, the thought of being released into the ‘real world’ terrified him. 

These intrusive feelings would preoccupy his mind, and he would spend hours entertaining millions of made-up scenarios happening in alternate universes, each with a different Keith who made different choices that led to different outcomes.

Despite the somewhat unsettling contemplation, the night was Keith’s time to unwind and settle into a meditative state, where he could meander alone in his thoughts. He loved the night, and he loved the beauty of the cosmos. If he was ever given the chance to live alongside the endless cosmic expanse, in a rocket ship or even in a flying saucer, he would accept it without hesitation. 

Tonight, his mind kept drifting to the same thought; it was about Lance, beat-up and bruised and crying, and his own fists balled up and hovering inches away from his face. Keith still painfully discerned the guilt. It was going to shroud his consciousness for a long time. 

Yesterday’s events were hazy in his mind; but the emotions, as intense as they were, still lingered. In no doubt would it be awkward to face Lance again in the morning.

Keith allowed his mind to float through the hollowing emptiness of the galaxy in his bedroom, and he fell asleep wondering what events the future had in store.

\---

Lance woke up to the satisfying smell of sizzling bacon, wafting in from the kitchen. It settled his disoriented mind as he groggily made sense of his surroundings. He was lying in his bed with a sharp pain in his neck; he must have slept in a weird angle. 

Lance was dressed in last night’s clothes; it seemed like he immediately crashed after stumbling into his dorm. He remembered sporting a fever, and he still felt physically ill as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and slowly sat up in his bed.

The blood rushed to his legs and he immediately felt lightheaded, but he pushed through the uncomfortable feeling and stood up unsteadily before wobbling to the bathroom. 

The warm, sizzling sound of grease was almost solacing. Whenever Hunk cooked a large breakfast, Lance was habitually reminded of his childhood; it was as if Lance had woken up to his own mother’s cooking. He revelled in the nostalgia as he trudged down the hall, rubbing his sore neck. 

“Yo, Lance!” Hunk called from the kitchen. “You sure took your time sleeping in.”

Lance swept his unfocused gaze over his blinding phone screen and panicked. 8:37 am. He only had thirty minutes to get his ass out the door. He didn’t even shower last night, and it would take him forever to reapply his concealer. 

“Fuck.” Why was he always so disorganized? He cursed himself for forgetting to set his alarm, and he cursed himself for somehow managing to catch a cold. 

Hunk chuckled from the kitchen; he must have heard Lance’s exasperated cry. 

Lance switched on the bathroom lights. It took a second for his tired eyes to adjust. He looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, and his reflection glared back in disgust. He didn’t even bother to take off his denim jacket or toque before collapsing in his bed, and his concealer was all smudged. Needless to say, Lance looked like a mess. 

 

Half an hour later, Lance and Hunk were making their way to class. Lance, chewing on a piece of bacon, was sporting his scarf again; although his bruises were fading significantly. Lance did a shit job at applying concealer; he brushed his bangs over his forehead in a last futile attempt to hide his face from prying eyes. 

“Hunk, I expect some chicken noodle soup when I get home.”

“Alright, only if you clean up your mess in the bathroom.” 

===  
“Good morning, class,” the Astrophysics professor, an ageing woman with short greying hair and glasses covering a scornful expression, leaned over her desk to plug her laptop into the projector. 

She spoke in a taut, yet annoyingly raspy voice; Lance winced every time she talked. 

“We’ve finished the last section on aerodynamics, and as such, we’re going to be starting the next unit on structure of matter. Please open your textbooks; we’re going to be doing a small partner project, the outline is on page fifty-seven.” 

Several students groaned, the slight chattering was quickly hushed by the impatient professor as a flurry of turning pages echoed throughout the class. 

Lance quickly glanced over in Keith’s direction; he’d put his head on his desk in defeat. 

The professor clicked away on her laptop, and the projector displayed a powerpoint full of monotonous notes and mind-numbing information. “Let’s first look over the basic principles..”

Keith allowed his mind to disconnect from the professor’s droning lecture as he buried his face in his arms. He hated group projects with a burning passion; he preferred to operate alone, without anyone weighing him down. Not that Keith would put in any effort into this project anyways; it shouldn’t damage his grade too badly if he failed it. 

And besides, who would Keith even pair up with? He wouldn’t make the effort of asking a stranger, and Lance always paired up with an extroverted person who put in some effort. 

Whatever. Keith didn’t care. He closed his eyes and pretended to nap. 

…  
“Keith Kogane, pay attention when I’m teaching.” 

Some kids snickered, but Keith was used to the professor’s ridicule, and he couldn’t care less. He propped his head on his elbow and pretended to pay attention as he continued his inner monologue.

Lance looked over at Keith’s hunched form, not in disapproval, but in a strange sense of sympathy.

“Psst, Keith,” Lance whispered as he leaned in and nudged Keith’s arm. “Wanna be partners?” 

Keith turned to Lance and stared at him, surprised. “What?”

“For the project. You don’t have a partner, do you?”

“No, I don’t.” Actually, Keith was unsure if he heard Lance correctly. “I thought you had a partner already, though?”

Lance smiled. “You looked like you needed one.”

 

The professor called the class to attention. “Don’t forget, class; your midterm on the first three sections is two weeks from now.”

===

They walked back to the dorms in silence, unwilling to disturb the serene afternoon. Students were strolling the sidewalks with coffee in their hands, and the northern winds contained hints of the oncoming winter. Lance was still nevertheless sick and cursed the chilly weather. He was grateful today was Tuesday, which meant they didn’t have any evening classes. 

Keith couldn’t help but periodically glance up to make sure Lance wasn’t crying whenever he sniffled from the cold. He couldn’t help it, and he blamed it on his surging guilt. 

Lance must have noticed Keith’s distraught expression. “Dude, chill. Forget about yesterday, okay? It never happened.”

“But I feel so bad. We’re still friends, right?” 

Lance smiled at Keith reassuringly. “Duh.”

Keith pressed on. “But I seriously want to apologize. I didn’t mean to lose control of my temper like that..”

Lance grinned. “Apologize for what? Nothing happened.” 

“I cradled you in my arms, for god’s sake!” 

“Nope. Sorry, can’t recall.”

Keith lightly punched Lance’s arm. “I hate that.”

“Hate you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nyyarhh imma try to post once a week at least


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This ch sort of crack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason it wouldn’t let me post yesterday oof

BEEP BEEP BEEP—  
   
“Someone go grab the popcorn.”  
   
“I don’t wanna get up.”  
   
“The Babadook’s in there.”  
   
Pidge groaned and rubbed her eyes. “Fine, pussies. I’ll do it.” She stood up from her blanket nest on the floor and trudged towards the kitchen.  
   
“Thank god for Pidge.”  
   
“Oh sh—” The sound of m&ms could be heard scattering all over the floor as Lance elbowed the bowl.  
   
“Lance, they’re getting in the couch.”  
   
“You’re cleaning those up after.”  
   
“Shit, guys, my bad—”  
   
Pidge settled back into her nest with a bag of popcorn. “Lance, you’re an idiot.”  
   
Hunk groaned from the recliner. “Why did we decide to do this in the middle of the week?”  
   
“Because, Hunk,” Lance jutted in, “Midterms are coming up, and everyone needs a bit of relaxing movie time.”  
   
“And so you picked out a horror movie? Lance, I’m not going to be able to sleep for a week.”  
   
“C’mon, get in the Halloween spirit, Hunk!” Lance reached to grab a handful of popcorn from Pidge, and more m&ms could be heard sliding off the couch and hitting the floor. “Besides, I wanted to introduce you guys to Keith—”  
   
“Your new boyfriend?” Pidge snickered, deflecting Lance’s embarrassed kicking. 

“He is NOT my boyfriend.”

Hunk sighed again and looked at Keith apologetically. Keith awkwardly adjusted his position beside Lance on the couch.  
   
“Shut the fuck up, Pidge—ahem—Keith is my friend from class,” Lance started. “We’re working on a project together.”  
   
“Well, nice to meet ya, Keith.” Pidge smirked and passed along the popcorn bag. “I met these guys at the beginning of the year during a shift at the Garrison’s, but they’re pretty cool, I guess.”  
   
“Gee, thanks, Pidge.”  
   
Keith smiled. “Thanks for having me over guys, this is fun.”  
   
Lance and Keith’s “project working time” had somehow transitioned into a movie night at Lance and Hunk’s place. Keith wasn’t complaining, but he initially wasn’t too keen on the idea of hanging out with a bunch of strangers. Social events made him jittery and reclusive; but Lance insisted on it, and Keith couldn’t just say no.  
   
\---  
   
Keith held a generalized distain for public interaction, and simply couldn’t help the surging ball of anxiety and dread when Lance dragged him into a nearby Starbucks after class, much to his objection.  
   
“Alright, Keith, let’s get a head start on this project.” Lance smiled widely and opened his laptop after they found a table. The Starbucks, located behind the dorm apartments, was quickly filling up with students looking for a place to study and chat.  
   
“Just warning you, I have no idea what I’m doing.” Keith admitted.  
   
“That’s okay, all the info’s in the textbook,” Lance started. “And we only have to do a bit of research and compile the data… anyways, are we getting lattes or nah?”  
   
“Sure, I’m getting a black coffee. What about you?”  
   
“Black coffee? At Starbucks?!” Lance jokingly gasped and threw up his hands in mock disbelief. “Might as well buy a seven-dollar cup of water, you uncultured fool!”  
   
Keith surprisingly laughed at Lance’s comment, albeit the strange looks at Lance’s outburst given from a nearby table; and the satisfaction of humouring Keith was written all over Lance’s face.  
   
“Fine, I’ll get a pumpkin spice latte or whatever, even if it’s just pure sugar.”  
   
“That’s the spirit!”  
   
\---  
   
“Alright fellas, I brought the tequila.”  
   
“Pidge, you’re sixteen, what the fuck.”  
   
Hunk got up from the recliner. “I’m confiscating that, you know.”  
   
“You guys are no fun...”  
   
\---  
   
At the end of the movie, Hunk started gathering the blankets strewn over the couch and floor, and Pidge was inhaling the leftover snacks.  
   
“Hey guys—it’s quite late, I better get going,” Keith grabbed his jacket and started heading towards the door. “It was fun meeting you guys.”  
   
“Totally dude, you should hang out with us more often.” Pidge mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn.  
   
“Hey Keith, see you tomorrow, buddy.” Lance smiled and ruffled Keith’s hair as he was leaving. “Now, I better get back to the living room before Hunk yells at me to clean up those m&ms…”  
   
Keith smiled. “See you, Lance.”  
   
\---  
   
Lance was… touchy. Excessively so, as if Lance had known Keith all his life. As if he didn’t remember last week’s events as vividly as Keith did.  
   
Then again, Keith flinched at the slightest physical contact. Shoulders brushing, a pat on the back, a knee resting on his thigh on the couch… Keith noticed all these things.  
   
When Lance ruffled Keith’s hair as he was leaving for the night, it sent shivers down his spine.  
   
But behind the curtain of repression, Keith still felt amiss about the ordeal. He still felt guilty for pushing Lance away for so many years, even if Lance brushed it off like nothing happened. The anxiety, like a threatening tornado looming on the horizon, did not dissipate.  
   
Nobody else had shown as much consideration for him as Lance had, except maybe Shiro.  
   
Nobody else was as patient or inviting to Keith as Lance was.  
   
Nobody else senselessly pushed Lance away as much as Keith did.  
   
And why? Keith didn’t know the answer to that question. And god, Keith felt horrible.  
   
 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe next chapter will be Lance’s pov hmm


End file.
